It depends. Have there been fights in your marital past?
According to an article in the September 2011 issue of the Journal of Family Issues, researchers at Ohio State University studied 1,000 couples and compared the discord in their marriages in the 1980s and twenty years later.
"Those who clashed in the 1980s were still fighting 20 years later, while harmonious couples tended to stay that way."
Implications? One is for individuals still early in a relationship that is characterized by fighting: fights will probably stay a part of it. You might want to consider getting out of it rather than getting into it long-term.
In an abusive relationship? Get out. Get out immediately. Get out completely. Get help. It will not get better.
January 11, 2012
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I grew up in a house where the argument went on endlessly for the better part of a decade.
ReplyDeleteThe reason that a couple keeps arguing is simple...they never resolve the problem.
They will end the first argument by mutual consent, stop talking to eachother, or just drop it. The problem is that the issue is not resolved and will come back up in the future, along with any other issues that arise so that the arguments just get worse the longer they are together. You can break the argument cycle by resolving the conflict completely.
William Davis
Intro to Personality Theory
MWF 10:00AM
I have been married 10 years and it is safe to say that my wife and I have our moments of difference, but I think for the most part we are fine. I love my wife and hope that our kids see us in a loving relationship and playing and having fun more than they see us fighting. I personally think it's okay to have disputes, but it obviously crosses the line when it gets physical (it has never gone to that point with me). If you don't have disputes and all you do is give in to what the other person wants then so many things can go wrong.
ReplyDeleteJeremy Hayes
Intro to Personality
MWF 10:10 AM
I have been married for a little over 10 years and I can count the disagreements we've had on one hand. We have never had a "fight." I think the reason behind this is because we communicate, talk, and reach a conclusion. (Could also be that I am married to an incredibly mature, patient guy.) I think communication is missing in so many relationships these days, it's now the norm. To constantly fight and argue is just part of the "normal relationship." It's sad that it's accepted. One of my favorite talk radio hosts always answers her callers questions involving "how do I have a happy marriage" with, "Choose wisely, Treat Kindly." I think the treat kindly is the most important aspect of that theory. Glad to know the harmonious trend of my/our relationship will likely continue.
ReplyDeleteSarah Girty
Social Psych - 9:10-10:00
My husband and I we may disagree but we know that we are not always going to see eye to eye. I do watch a set of neighbors that are in an abusive relationship but they feed off of it. They cheat on each other, belittle each other, and physically abuse each other and they are okay with it. I really sad for the kids in the house. It is amazing how generations of families who are in abusive relationships pass that on to their kids.
ReplyDeleteBrandy Hoyt
General Psych
MWF 11:10
WOW! This is so true. Where was this study when i was starting all of those crappy relationships years ago? (not that i would have listened because i still knew everything at that point) However, if i apply it to all of my past relationships, it is in its entirety true! If we started it fighting, we ended it fighting.
ReplyDeleteShawna Carrier
MWF 12:10
General psychology
I think that this is true, but some people just like to fight as in arguing. I think that in most cases yes it is not okay but in others thats just the way that people are.
ReplyDeleteSkye Norwood
Gen Psych
12:10 MWF