Male Gift-Giving Confusion Disorder

I read an article this week about a little known sex-gene psychological disorder that affects men. It is caused by a gene found only on the male Y chromosome, so the disorder is only found in men.

The name of the specific gene is Cholorophile Longitudinal Ontogeneous Dysphorium (abbreviated CLOD).

Manifestations of the disorder will show up this evening all over America because tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

Behaviors associated with Male Gift-Giving Confusion Disorder include:

1. Waiting until late on the eve of the gift-giving occasion before beginning to shop for a gift. Often at a store like Dollar General because it is the only one still open.
2. Buying the first Hallmark card they pick up, often without even reading it.
3. Buying a gift that THEY want.
4. Buying the thing advertised on the last radio commerical they heard before entering the store.
5. Buying something "practical."
6. Thinking the gift is romantic even if it has a cord that plugs into the wall.
7. No amount of tears or explanations by females helps the man "get it."

Therapy for the disorder takes years of marriage and modeling of appropriate gift-giving behaviors by the man's wife. Often therapy is never successful because the disorder tends to cause divorces before enough marriage years are accumulated.

"Hello, my name is Gary, and I have the CLOD gene. I once bought my wife a lawn edger for Valentine's Day."

(This was written tongue-in-cheek but it would explain a lot, wouldn't it?)