Garrison Keillor shows keen insight into human nature, at least among the faux citizens of his fictious Lake Wobegon, "my hometown out on the edge of the prairie". My commute time is occupied by listening to and laughing at his weekly Prairie Home Companion broadcast on National Public Radio, via mp3 files downloaded from Audible.com.
One episode I listened to this week included a snippet about a Lake Wobegon citizen who went "berserk". Garrison's observation was that people who go berserk are often mild-mannered people who never seem to get upset at people. Why do they go beserk? Because they never get upset about anything.
Well, he's half-right.
On the one hand, going through life as a doormat is not healthy. Being aggressive is not healthy. Healthy is learning how to be assertive. You have as much right to your opinions, thoughts and feelings, and to express them, as anyone else does. This is so important to mental health and relationships that I teach a course on it.
On the other hand, catharsis never works. What we used to think was "releasing" pent-up negative emotions in a controlled environment (i.e., therapy), defusing them, turned out to actually be "rehearsing" their unhealthy expression. The advice, "Just let it all out!" is bad advice.
Acting aggressively results in more aggressive behavior. It escalates, not defuses.
The difference between unhealthy/unhelpful aggression and healthy/helpful assertion?
Sorry, you'll just have to take my class to find out.
February 6, 2010
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4 comments:
I never thought that was a good idea. I think that makes alot of sense that releasing agression can only lead to more anger & agression. I hope I get to take your class so i can hear the answer to that question.
Niki Pack!
See, this is the problem with what one person may think is as going "berserk", another may view it as expressing their feelings. What a fine line. I suppose it is all in the one who is hearing it!
Developmental Psyc. Muskogee
I'm kinda on the fence with this one because i feel that its good to release some aggression because if you bottle up to much aggression than you will snap one day down the road and end up hurting innocent people. However, showing aggression too often is just a sign of weakness and stupidity because your letting your emotions get the best of you. So i feel that people should try and level themselves out between the two.
By letting it all out i think of frank and Marie from everyone loves Raymond haha I can see where it can work, but that kind of anger and negativity can wear on people and a relationship. I do not believe it is healthy. It is good to talk about problems, but not to constantly verbally attack one another.
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