Here is the conundrum: how do I let you know what I am capable of without being a bragadocious bore? Nobody likes a show-off.
Nurit Tal-Or (now THAT is a great name! Sounds like an all-natural power bar) doesn't want to brag, but he thinks he knows. He reported his research, done in the United Kingdom, in the journal, Social Influence.
100 undergraduate students were asked to rate the character of a speaker in two senarios. In the first, the speaker brought up the subject in the conversation and told the listener what grade he got. In the second, the listener brought up the subject and asked the speaker what grade he got.
The speaker in senario two, who shared only when asked, was rated higher than the speaker who just offered the information.
Tal-Or concluded, "To pull off a successful boast, it must be appropirate to the conversation. Context is everything... If your friend, colleague, or date raises the topic you can go ahead and pull in a relevant boast in safety... (but if you) turn the conversation onto the required topic, then you must succeed in provoking a question from your conversation partner. If there's no question and you raised the topic then any boast you make will leave you looking like a big-head."
So, on a date? In a job interview? Make sure that your sharing of your "good points" is appropriate to the flow of the conversation, and the person has actually indicated whether or not they care about it. Otherwise, you will come off as a pompous bore, or, to use Tal-Or's word, a "big-head."
January 28, 2010
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4 comments:
I thought about printing this and handing it out but I am afraid that some people think so highly of themselves that they wouldn't understand that it is aobut them.
I hate it when people brag no matter what the subject is. Its just a way for some people who love to hear the sound of there own voice to say how much better they are at something than other people.
that makes a lot of sense! A lot of people would be smart to take this nutritious bars advice!!! HAHAHAHA
Devel.
these people should be confined to a small room with all of the one uppers in the world you know you tell some one something good happend to you and they always have to out do your story even if its totally bull and you can tell they are lying. its just annoying!!
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