Why don't lonely people seek out people to be around?
Some research by Catherine Norris and associates, at the University of Chicago and reported in the November/December 2009 Psychology Today, helps answer that question by looking at what goes on in the "pleasure center" in the brains of lonely people.
Normally, when people are shown positive pictures of other people, the "pleasure center" of the brain is activated. It creates good thoughts and they enjoy it. But in lonely people, "pleasure" (primarily produced by the neurotransmitter dopamine) is triggered more by images of objects than images of people.
According to the article, "Lonely people, therefore, are less likely to seek out interactions with others because they don't find them satisfying, which only leads to increased alienation."
Thinking about being around people doesn't bring pleasure, so they don't try to be around people. That can start a vicious cycle of illogical thinking leading to depression, resulting in decreased interactions with people, resulting in fewer "rewards" from being around people, reinforcing loneliness, leading to more illogical thinking.
So, are you lonely? Stop reading Psychology By Dr G, turn off your computer, go out and be around some people! Even if you don't think you will enjoy it.
Even better, do this: tomorrow, go out and buy a funny costume, and go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Make some people laugh. You might even enjoy it!
October 29, 2009
October 25, 2009
Imitate Me and I Will Like You
Women, only read today's post if you want to be considered sexually attractive and have men give you their phone numbers. Men, don't read it, you won't like it.
The journal, Social Influence, reports on some interesting research among women speed-daters. For those out of the know, speed-dating consists of a social setting in which couples are given 5 minutes to meet each other, decide if they want to share their contact information, then switch tables to meet the next person.
According to Nicholas Gueguen's research, there is one thing women can do to have greater success, defined as being given the man's contact information, and being rated as more sexually attractive by the man.
Here's the secret to success: mimic the man's words and body-language.
The female participants were instructed to subtlely mimic some partners' phrases approximately five times during a five-minute date and their body language five times, and to not mimic other dates.
Guegen found that, on average, "when a woman mimicked a dating partner, he was more likely, compared with non-mimicked dates, to want to give her his contact information, to say that the speed-date had gone well, and to rate her as more sexually attractive."
My observation?
1. Men like women who they think like them.
2. Men think that women who listen to them like them.
3. Based on this research, men think that women who use the same phrases and body language they use are listening to them.
As in this research, more often than not, women are just messing with men's minds. My gender is so easy to mess with.
The journal, Social Influence, reports on some interesting research among women speed-daters. For those out of the know, speed-dating consists of a social setting in which couples are given 5 minutes to meet each other, decide if they want to share their contact information, then switch tables to meet the next person.
According to Nicholas Gueguen's research, there is one thing women can do to have greater success, defined as being given the man's contact information, and being rated as more sexually attractive by the man.
Here's the secret to success: mimic the man's words and body-language.
The female participants were instructed to subtlely mimic some partners' phrases approximately five times during a five-minute date and their body language five times, and to not mimic other dates.
Guegen found that, on average, "when a woman mimicked a dating partner, he was more likely, compared with non-mimicked dates, to want to give her his contact information, to say that the speed-date had gone well, and to rate her as more sexually attractive."
My observation?
1. Men like women who they think like them.
2. Men think that women who listen to them like them.
3. Based on this research, men think that women who use the same phrases and body language they use are listening to them.
As in this research, more often than not, women are just messing with men's minds. My gender is so easy to mess with.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
